I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
