maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize