he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
