your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
