We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
