can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Such a big mess for such a small penis
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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