That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
