So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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