what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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