i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
His hands were made for my vagina.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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