dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
he high fived his dick after we had sex
that is very illegal...i love you.
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