today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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