First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
my being single is dangerous.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Randomize
