Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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