Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
