ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Randomize
