the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
