i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
