ya dads aren't the best wingmen
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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