your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
