some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
