i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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