He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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