I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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