I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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