True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize