Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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