Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
i out mim tonsoeep
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
