does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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