We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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