And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
