the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
