she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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