I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
