I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
even my farts smell like vagina
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
