So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
