I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
