All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
