She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize