so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
