Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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