Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
He keeps bees of course he's weird
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
