she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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