Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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