what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
