May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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