Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
they call him Oral-B. enough said
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
