Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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