Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
