honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize