I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
