I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
