So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
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