Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
