Her vagina should come with caution tape.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize