I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Randomize