It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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