I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Randomize
