Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
