But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Randomize