just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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