I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
