then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
