I'm so fucking centered right now
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
