It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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