I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Randomize
