White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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