If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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