yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
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