it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
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