i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
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