Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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