i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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