When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
