I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
