i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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